A BIG FAT ROAST CHICKEN

Oh, God, Roast Chicken. A food with so much importance to me that it warrants capitalization. With the singular exception of roast duck, this is without a doubt my favorite meal. It's the ultimate simple yet delicate, unpretentious yet classy, comfort food for one or impressive meal for a group. I've been working very hard at perfecting this dish, and I've pick up a few tricks that I think are worth sharing. In terms of prep work this is... considerably easier than pie. I'll try to tell you how to make the most simple sort of Roast Chicken, but once you get the basics down, there are endless modifications. If you're trying to save on fat and calories and avoiding the skin (which, damnit, probably makes a lot of sense considering how much fat and calories are in the skin... I won't tell you here. If you want to know, look it up yourself. Finding that out was the culinary equivalent of finding out there was no Santa Clause. I don't want to force that burden of truth on anyone) you should still cook the chicken with the skin on- it's critical for sealing in the flavor. Then just remove the skin after it's cooked. You don't add any calories this way, just seal in the juicy goodness.

You go and you get yourself:

1. 1 Chicken for Roasting, 2 1/2-3 1/2 lbs.****
2. 3 Tbl butter, softened- for 2 different purposes
3. 3 cloves garlic, chopped
4. 1/4 c chopped parsley
5. salt and pepper

**** This is important. Don't go for the cheapo chicken. It must say "for roasting" or "for baking." Also, you want it to be relatively small. This means the fat to meat ratio is right on, and your chicken will be plenty succulent. Pay no attention to the 6 lb beast in these pictures. It was all the store had, and I NEEDED Roast Chicken. NEEDED. I have few cravings stronger than my Roast Chicken craving.
Preheat oven to 450. Don't be afraid of the high temperature. It's completely normal.
Make that butter mix first- combo 2 Tbl of the butter, garlic, and parsley in a small bowl.
You want the chicken to be at room temperature when you start messing with it- this ensures that it will cook evenly. Take out all that crap on the inside. Now rinse your chicken inside and out and dry it with a paper towel, or several. You want it as dry as possible. This will help make the skin crispy and allow you to bake rather than steam your chicken. Only masochists like steamed chicken.
Place that chicken breast side up and separate the skin on the breast and thighs from the meat with your fingers. This makes a handy little pocket for you to cram that butter mixture in. Pull the legs together and tie them with a string. I don't really know what the purpose for this is other than to make the bird look pretty, in the traditional sense. I skip this step a lot. Season liberally all over with salt and pepper, using more on the thicker parts.
Put that last 1 Tbl of butter in a roasting pan and pop it in the oven just long enough to melt the butter. Now load the chicken into the pan and stick it in the oven. Leave it there for about 30-35 min. You're going to get antsy and want to check on it. Don't. You'll release the heat. After this time, take the chicken out and flip it using some tongs and whatever heavy machinery you've got lying around. Careful not to splash the hot juices all over yourself; spewing obscenities can cause a scene at dinner parties. Put the chicken back in the oven for another 10-15 minutes, then take it out and flip AGAIN! Flipping lets all the juices distribute to all the right places. Let the chicken cook in that oven for about another 10-15 minutes until it's done, for a total of 50-65 minutes. If you're feeling lucky, you can go with the pop-up timer that comes with it (in my personal experience, this has gotten the cooking time spot on, but it's also completely failed- use with caution) or stick a meat thermometer in the thickest part of the meat while the chicken is cooking- it should read 170 when done. Finally, when you pull it out, let your creation sit on the carving board for at least 15 minutes to let the juices set. This will be hard. It will smell freaking incredible. You can do it. It's worth it.

I made some roast veggies on the side in a separate pan- just chopped cauliflower, some big chunks of red onion, and about 10 cloves of chopped garlic (this is not an exaggeration- I really dig garlic). Tossed it with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and stuck it in the oven with the chicken for about 30 minutes, turning once. Why, Jackie, why didn't you just roast everything in the same pan as the chicken, you ask? Answer: I just don't like how oily the veggies get when they cook in the runoff from the chicken, especially since I plan on saving a lot of it for future eating. Re-heated oily veggies are super gross.
My belly is so full and satisfied. To my mother: Thank you for the quality eating habits. To everyone else: I really just wrote all this to make you super jealous. Bitches.

-Jacklyn Nemunaitis

Exam Week Staples: Mushroom Chicken Soup

It may not look like much, but this soup has gotten me through some long, dark, unbelievably boring days, when my culinary repertoire is limited by time and attention span, with the possible exception of my caffeine source. I find myself making it nearly every exam for several reasons: 1. I can make a huge batch at once, 2. It's reasonably healthy and hearty (when compared to some of my other test week staples, namely coffee and string cheese), and 3. I almost always have the ingredients I need stashed away. Here's what you'll need:

1. a container of mushrooms, sliced
2. 1 medium onion, chopped
3. a few cloves of garlic, chopped*
4. 1 1/2 cups chicken stock - I just reconstitute mine from the bouillion cubes so I don't have to worry about keeping cans of stock... uh... in stock. Yup. Obvious pun resisted! Congratulate me!
5. 1/2 cup cooking sherry
6. a TB or so of olive oil
7. 1 cup chopped up, cooked chicken -either leftovers, or I buy bags of pre-cooked chicken that you can keep in the freezer. They're always really tender.
8. 1 cup broken up cauliflower, steamed - again, frozen is the way to go. Just pop it in the microwave and you don't have to worry about cooking it.
9. a couple shakes of dried basil*
10. 1 bay leaf*
11. 1/4 cup cream*
12. salt and pepper, naturally

*I've always had a habit of skipping ingredients in recipes when I was either too cheap or too lazy to purchase them. Sometimes this works out fine, and sometimes it ruins the whole thing, so from now on, I'll always * ingredients that are not absolutely necessary.

Now that all this is in list format, and I'm not just haphazardly tossing stuff in a pot, this seems like a lot of stuff, but it's all stuff that I always seem to have in my kitchen.

If you're going the bouillion route, go ahead and reconstitute a cube according to the instructions so you'll have it ready. Next, fry up the onions, garlic, and mushrooms in a little olive oil on medium-high heat until everything's tender. Put these cooked veggies into a blender along with the chicken stock (the cubes usually make more liquid than you actually need) and sherry. You may have to do this in batches. Go ahead and play with the amounts of liquid you add, depending on how thick you want your soup to be. Use your nose to guide how much sherry you should add- it's probably a better guide than my crappy estimate. And don't worry about adding too much- you'll have a chance to cook off that alcohol taste a bit later on. Now pulverize this mixture until it's absolutely creamy. This might take a few minutes. Add the cream, basil, and salt and pepper, then pour the mixture into a saucepan along with the bay leaf and set it on medium heat, stirring occasionally. If you're using frozen cauliflower and chicken, go ahead and thaw it in the microwave, then put it in the pot with the rest of the soup. Take your time here to play with the flavors until you've got it how you want it. If you taste too much sherry, just let it cook off. That's the best part about soup- you've got tons of flexibility with the subtle flavors, so you can make it just right. This will make about 4 filling bowls, and it reheats perfectly.